We humans are creatures of a clan. Despite the modern message of “be you, don’t care what others think of you!”, we only feel the need to broadcast this message because we in some way feel it’s not already the case. And in some ways, it’ll never be. Anyway, this is also most likely the reason we watch enthusiasts can’t 100% ignore hype. Or the glowing reviews on r/Watches or WatchUSeek about a piece. And yet, sometimes (maybe oftentimes) these pieces are a square peg and our deep-seated and sometimes inscrutable personal tastes, are a round hole. It was just never meant to be.

So with that philosophical introduction, here are 7 (current production) watches I think were so universally yet blindly praised that I just…don’t get, and I very well may be speaking for many others. I even fell for one of these!

Swatch Moonswatch

I just never got it. It’s like the horological version of Beanie Babies or something. Why would everyone go so crazy about some plasticky replica watch that, besides being colorful, doesn’t even look unique? Heck, Swatch has plenty of quirkier and more expressive offerings worth considering than this junk. Maybe it’s my natural skepticism against chronographs or my lack of enthusiasm about outer space in general, but dang this one baffled me. Thank goodness the hype seems to finally be dwindling!

Grand Seiko Heritage Collection

Remember when in high school you used to copy the smart kid’s homework assignment and just changed a few words here and there to make it look like the chef-d’œuvre of your own hand? No? Neither do I ’cause I never did that. But that’s what I’m reminded of with the Heritage Collection, and maybe also with Grand Seiko in general. Just switch up the dial a bit, maybe a different texture and color, and then ship it, they won’t care! But really, they all do look the same, just with different dial colors and textures.

But wait, what about Spring Drive?! Or Hi-Beat or Zaratsu polishing?!?!?!

Yes, Grand Seiko is one he(ck) of an innovator in the industry, but to be completely honest, I’ve learned through this and through my dating life that brains does not necessarily equal emotional connection, and watch collecting is all about the connecting of emotions. It all just reminds me of the clones in Star Wars, and I’m yawning, not fawning over it.

Rolex Explorer

I almost put the Submariner (which I own) and the Datejust here too, but between some interesting things like the Glidelock clasp and the Jubilee bracelet, I let them off the hook. But let’s talk about the Explorer for a sec. People deify the 3-6-9 dial like it’s the second coming of François-Paul Journe (oh wait, he’s still alive). It’s the same thing as the OP dial with some hashes changed into numerals, which in turn is the same thing as a billion other dials out there. Oh and because it only comes in a black dial, it’s officially the most boring watch in Rolex’s lineup. Come at me.

Omega Speedmaster Moonwatch Professional

So I’m just talking about the standard black dial one here. Is it iconic? Yes. Is it a good watch? Yes it is. But should people be internet-crucified for saying it’s not their cup of tea? C’mon now. It’s $8,000 for the sapphire version and you only get some lame-o printed indices, the font for which is basically a sleeker version of Comic Sans. Omega’s Calibre 3861 is neither a column-wheel or a vertical clutch, which is fine I guess, but it doesn’t help in making the Speedy Pro feel like a special watch. And that’s because in isolation, it’s not. Consolation points for a cool history though.

IWC Pilot Mark XX

Sticking with the theme of printed indices, the IWC Pilot Mark XX is another bad offender. For a $6150 RRP, I’m expecting a bit more than a plain sunburst dial with printed indices and a completely undecorated date window. And that’s not even all! Did you know that the IWC 32111 Calibre is just a glorified Baumatic movement? You can thank daddy Richemont for that. And though the wearability was significantly improved from the Mark XVIII, that meant the lug-to-lug was shortened to a still giraffe-like 49mm. Shortened!

Ok but it’s not really all that terrible. Fliegers are cool and the bracelet at least is pretty nice. It’s just overrated.

Cartier Santos

This one was my mistake. I justified the Santos by convincing myself that it “filled in all the gaps in my collection in one fell swoop”. Dressy? Check. Sporty? Check. Ergonomic? Check. Multiple straps for different looks? Check, even if it did look pretty bad on the included tan strap.

But guess what? Nobody with at least 3 watches drools over a timepiece for its versatility. What also annoys me is that Cartier decided to sidestep ETA’s distribution restrictions by creating their own cutting-edge in-house Santos movement…which just ended up being an ETA 2892 clone. Same 42 hour power reserve, slightly thicker, no elaborate finishing (closed caseback), 23 vs the ETA’s 21 jewels. Cartier had an opportunity and just took a siesta.

Anyway, I ended up selling mine, but not before doing a daily review, and replaced it with a JLC. Haven’t looked back.

Tudor Black Bay 58

The Tudor Black Bay 58 is the very epitome of the beat-to-death neo-vintage revival. Sure it may be easy for me to say that as a Submariner owner, but it wouldn’t have been that much harder even if I didn’t. In fact, I very much prefer the Pelagos 39 over the BB58. The BB58 doesn’t even have one of Tudor’s best features: the T-Fit clasp! That clasp even gives the Rolex Glidelock a run for its money. When I look at the BB58, I don’t really see anything that stands out. Like, nothing. It just looks like…a watch.

But all things considered this post was *mostly* in jest. Each of the pieces mentioned in this post definitely has a lot to offer, which is probably why they were susceptible to becoming overrated in the first place. What do you think? Agree/disagree? Which watches have I forgotten to include? Let me know in the comments below!