Sometimes I feel like it’s my sole responsibility (well, mine and Andrew Morgan’s) in this entire world to bring levity into the world of horology. We take these tiny little anachronistic wrist-machines way too seriously. Proof? Well I haven’t found anything on the internet about match-making tastes in dogs to tastes in watches. So here I come with my sweeping generalizations about both watch geeks and dog lovers to fill in that vacuum!

Husky: Bulgari Octo Finissimo

We really gotta be talking about the blue dial variant here to match those blue husky eyes. Both the husky and the Octo Finissimo are about drama. Making. Your. Voice. Heard. Or at least your presence noticed. Neither the husky or the Octo Finissimo can stand the thought of being ignored, so if you’re the kind of owner that likes your trinkets and your canine companions loud, both figuratively and literally, this may be the pairing for you.

Golden Retriever: IWC Portugieser Perpetual Calendar

Ah yes, here we have the match that embodies beauty with a large helping of high-maintenance. There are few things in the canine world as striking as a full coat of golden retriever fur, and few things as big of a pain in the ass too. Respectively, you better also find that Portugieser Perpetual Calendar beautiful because that crown-only operated perpetual calendar complication ain’t gonna maintain itself.

Dachshund: Breitling Avenger B01

Should you be looking for a timepiece to perhaps overcompensate for your small wiener dog, look no further.

Poodle: Rolex Day-Date

Perhaps self-explanatory, this pairing focuses on looking rich. Not necessarily being rich or even looking rich tastefully, just more of that “I like my dogs the way I like my wrist: Pampered” kind of look. Also did you know: if you don’t groom a poodle it just ends up looking like a normal dog? Likewise, opt for a white gold day-date and you’ll find it can be surprisingly skillful at blending in.

German Shepherd: Sinn 556i

Also pretty self-explanatory. Reliable. Resolute. Ready for action.

Australian Shepherd: Omega Speedmaster

Only a chronograph could suffice for a dog such zoomies. Why the Speedy then you might ask? Aussies are known for being a bit tough to raise and keep entertained, so we need to stay consistent with the difficulty level here by picking a manual-wind one. But a nice manual-wind one. High quality watch for a high quality dog.

Beagle: Tag Heuer Aquaracer Solargraph

I reckon beagles are the “set it and forget it” equivalent of the dog world. Low maintenance is the name of the game here, and so naturally no mechanical watch qualifies for that here. Enter the solargraph: you don’t even have to ever replace the battery! Just like a beagle, it makes a great companion for a slow afternoon stroll through the woods with lots of flowers to stop and smell. 

So there you have it, a short and sweet and silly post about matchmaking dog enthusiasts with watch ones. Did I get it right? Wrong? Which obvious ones did I miss? Let me know in the comments below!